It is time to celebrate Father’s Day. The hallmaark cards are being chosen and gifts are being picked out to be sent on this special and food menu’s are being shopped. The holiday is to remind us how special father’s are to us. Fathers whether they were in the home or not , should be celebrated and thought of during this season.
Like many of you, I too have my memories of my “father.” It was perhaps 3 years ago when my sister called to inform me that “our” father would like to speak to me. It was a strange feeling but I took the call without hesitation.
He spoke with a soft voice and called my name with tenderness. It was the first time in my life, that I heard my father’s voice. We had not been in contact my entire life up to this point. Over the years, I have struggled with what that relationship could have been for us. I was hoping for games in the park or him showing me guy stuff to do but I did not have that experience with him. He decided for whatever reason to bail on his family. Father’s Day has always been complicated and complex.
The phone called lasted less than 10minutes. He asked me for forgiveness. I forgave him . Perhaps, as much as I needed him to bless me and assure me, he needed me to release him of his guilt and shame. We both needed each other that day.
I forgave him for not wanting to be a father and choosing a life he thought he needed at the time. I forgave him for not having the skills to parent with my mother. I forgave him!!! I hung the phone up and wept. I forgave him.David
We all have daddy issues. This holiday, take the time to rediscover your father in new ways. Yes, he could have and perhaps he should’ve but the truth of the matter is, he didn’t, forgive him. Free yourself this holiday and let your father be exactly who he is. Father’s Day is always comlicated and complex.
I Speak Life Coaching celebrate the men who has shown all of us love. I personally celebrate Oligh William Conard my grandfather who stepped in and up, when my father stepped out. I thank the men in the barbershop, who allowed me to hang around them and they gave me a quarter or a dollar to run an errand. I thank male teachers who put their arms around me and comforted me when I was bullied and teased. Father’s come in many disguises.
I’m eternally grateful to the men, who took the time to love us all.
Happy Father’s Day
David Shawn Smith/ I Speak Life Coaching